Vacation started today at about 11:30 am, after about 20 hours in uniform, and with a spring in my step. The spring was as much for the feeling of satisfaction of good night’s work as for the knowledge that tomorrow night I’ll be somewhere beautiful I’ve never been before. Wide open mental spaces.
With the ease of vacation ahead, contentment isn’t hard. Or shouldn’t be. Contentment is one of the qualities which supports and reinforces the changes in consciousness that yoga practice cultivates. Here’s what todays Yoga Journal Daily Insight Email had to say about it.
“Samtosa is a niyama, or guiding principle of yoga. This principle encourages us to develop contentment. It prescribes the merit of striving to be grateful for what we have rather than yearning for new and different things. The word “samtosa” is also sometimes translated as happiness, because, by finding contentment with what we have, we also find joy, relaxation, and peace. ”
So here’s my contentment conundrum: I have a career in a high volume service where my skills are kept at an edge by sheer repetition, where I have excellent people around me and opportunities to grow as a medic and a manager. The volume generates it’s own stress, though, and predictable burnout. The schedule was fantastic when I was single, but feels like it splits my heart now that someone else also occupies it.
I may have an opportunity to join a rural service, and this would offer its own challenges such as longer transport times and fewer people on scene. The money is less, the prestige is less, the opportunity for management advancement in EMS is less. The burnout is less. It fits better with my life as a yoga teacher. It doesn’t make me want a cigarette.
Where does samtosha take me with this decision? Remain content in the midst of rich opportunities with a high price, or find contentment with less. Less stress, less of what hardens my heart about what I do, less adreneline, less money… but more wide open space.
This is what I will be sitting with as I drive and camp and walk and eat fresh fruit. It feels like a crossroads, a decision about who I’m going to be. I guess we never know that until we wake up in that person’s bed, after having the dreams and fears that the person we will be will have. Perhaps what I need to do is take an honest look at the dreams and fears I have today. Truth and honesty, clarity, presence. This is what I will keep coming back to, this is what I will seek and cultivate on the road. I’ll let you know what I find.