“The first step is simple: just make a decision to unload your burdens and start your journey home. Make a decision to reclaim your beautiful self – your body; your clear, calm, and tranquil mind; and the peaceful core of your being.” ~Pandit Rajmani in July/Aug Yoga+
This last year I’ve been re-working the conditions of my life to support more yoga – more asana, yes, but also more “steady & sweet” as in “Yoga pose is a seat that is steady & sweet (or with ease).” Changing schedules, duties, what I think I need, really digging in to what’s important – really crucial – to my best life. Changing eating, sleeping, all sorts of habits.
And what I’m finding is that my very desires are changing. The things I used to want to want, used to want to have time to want, energy to want, these are the very things I wake up ready to do.
And my fears, the very ones that kept me from doing this earlier in my life, were unfounded. I used to fear that I would become soft, pampered, non-productive and have less substance if I created these conditions. But it’s the opposite: I am not only clearer of head & heart, but more productive, more energetic, muscular of body & mind, more discerning and less in need of pampering to feel like my well is full.
Yoga has changed what I want and how I go after it and given me what I wanted all along. I just had to let go of a lot and trust not only my practice but my deepest driving desires for wholeness and simplicity. The Upanishads say that our deepest driving desires are our destiny, and I’m beginning to see that destiny has more to do with what you allow than what you plot, that resistance is almost always a sign of imbalance and that it’s more powerful to soften to resistance than to cleave it. When we soften, we bring awareness & breath, attention and the potential for transformation. There is enough time, because there is the part of us in time and the part of us that participates in creating it, and for that part of us there is no limitation and so no concept of “enough” or “not enough”. In consciousness, there is only Being.