Yoga: The Prophylactic for Your Inner Weiner (Part 3)

Feeling You Up

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continued from yesterday…  If yoga isn’t going to change our pasts or our needs, well, what’s the point? What can yoga do? Well, if you have an inner Weiner (and we all do, c’mon now….) you might get to know that guy a little better by spending time on the mat. And he might tell you, “I think I’m gonna start sending disappointing pictures of my underpants to the public and completely change my image in the public eye. Yep, I think I’m definitely feelin’ it today. I know it sounds crazy, but I just feel it! It feels so sexy!”
Okay so it might not be that blatant, maybe it will only be a feeling, and a feeling you’d rather not have. But really, that’s what we’re saying when we say “I wasn’t honest with myself.” We’re saying, “I kept having that feeling, but it was icky, so I decided to ignore it until I did something really grand with it.” Well, guess what? You did. The fact that you ignored truths about yourself leading up to your grand, career defining gesture doesn’t make you more pathetic or more broken or more excusable than the next lout.
And you might just stop right in the middle of your pigeon pose, feeling a little like taking a shower. Well, don’t. Stay there, talk to that guy, write about it, cry about it, wonder about it, laugh about it. This is what practice is for. Whether you touch your toes (and eventually you will), showing up on the mat is about clarifying and becoming more and more transparent to ourselves. It’s not going to end, ever, this need to meet ourselves, and yes, it’s daily. Will you ever do anything really embarrassing or idiotic again? Yeah, probably. I do. It’s a prophylactic, and they all have a failure rate. But you’ll gain a sense of humor and understanding, an ability to own the action and your person, and never, ever to put your lack of self-knowledge above your relationships to other people, the hurt you feel above the hurt you cause.
And those yoga teachers in those sex scandal stories? Yeah, ask them how their practice was the morning they decided to become that guy or that gal. I’ll bet you an unlimited pass to home practice they didn’t show up for themselves on the mat, and that’s why “it” happened.

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